I n your last letter you ask me why I have not delivered my speech in the Senate. Well, I have to return thanks to my Lord your Father by proclamation also, and that I shall issue at my Games in the Circus; it will begin with these very words: On the day on which, by the kindness of our great Emperor, I am exhibiting a spectacle most attractive to the people and popidar in the highest degree, I have thought it a good opportunity to return thanks to him, that the same day—to be followed by some Ciceronian conclusion. My speech I shall deliver on August 13th. You will ask, perhaps, Why so late? Because I am never in a hurry to discharge a solemn duty at the first possible moment, and anyhow. But, as I ought to deal with you without disguise and without circumlocution, I will tell you what is in my mind. I often praised your grandfather, the deified Hadrian, in the Senate, with a steady zeal, aye, and a ready, and those speeches are constantly in everyone's hands. Yet, if your filial feeling towards him will allow me to say so, I wished to appease and propitiate Hadrian, as I might Mars Gradivus or Father Dis, rather than loved him. Why? Because love requires some confidence and intimacy. Since, in my case, confidence was lacking, therefore I dare not love one whom I so greatly revered. Antoninus, however, I love, I cherish like the light, like day, like life, like breath, and feel that I am loved by him. Him I must so praise that my praise be not hidden away in the Journals of the Senate,1 but come into the hands and under the eyes of men, else am I ungrateful also towards you. Again, as the runaway syce is reported to have said, I have run sixty miles for my master, I will run a hundred for myself, to escape; so I, too, when I praised Hadrian, ran for my master, but today I run for myself; for myself, I say, and write this speech to please myself. I shall compose it, therefore, at my ease, slowly, leisurely, placidly.
If you are very impatient for it, amuse yourself the while in other ways; kiss your father, embrace him, lastly, praise him yourself. But you may certainly look forward to hearing on August 13th what you would wish and such as you would wish. Farewell, Caesar, and prove worthy of your father, and if you wish to write anything, write slowly.
Marcus Aurelius to Fronto
143 A.D.
My most honourable consul, Fronto.