[If any have offended against thee, consider first]: What is my relation to men, and that DOGMAwe are made for one another; and in another respect I was made to be set over them, as a ram over the flock or a bull over the herd. But examine the matter from first principles, from this: DOGMAIf all things are not mere atoms, it is nature which orders all things: if this is so, the inferior things exist for the sake of the superior, and these for the sake of one another.

Second, consider what kind of men they are at table, in bed, and so forth; and particularly, under what compulsions in respect of opinions they are; and as to their acts, consider with what pride they do what they do.

Third, that if men do rightly what they do, we ought not to be displeased: but if they do not right, it is plain that they do so TERMinvoluntarily and in ignorance. For as every soul is unwillingly deprived of the truth, so also is it unwillingly deprived of the power of behaving to each man according to his deserts. Accordingly men are pained when they are called unjust, ungrateful, and greedy, and in a word wrong-doers to their neighbors.

Fourth, consider that TERMthou also doest many things wrong, and that thou art a man like others; and even if thou dost abstain from certain faults, still thou hast the disposition to commit them, though either through cowardice, or concern about reputation, or some such mean motive, thou dost abstain from such faults.

Fifth, consider that thou dost not even understand whether men are doing wrong or not, for many things are done with a certain reference to circumstances. And in short, a man must learn a great deal to enable him to pass a correct judgment on another man's acts.

Sixth, consider when thou art much vexed or grieved, that man's life is only a moment, and after a short time we are all laid out dead.

Seventh, that it is not men's acts which disturb us, for those acts have their foundation in men's TERMruling principles, but it is our own opinions which disturb us. TERMTake away these opinions then, and resolve to dismiss thy judgment about an act as if it were something grievous, and thy anger is gone. How then shall I take away these opinions? By reflecting that DOGMAno wrongful act of another brings shame on thee: for unless that which is shameful is alone bad, thou also must of necessity do many things wrong, and become a robber and everything else.

Eighth, consider how much more pain is brought on us by the anger and TERMvexation caused by such acts than by the acts themselves, at which we are angry and vexed.

Ninth, consider that a good disposition is invincible if it be genuine, and not an affected smile and acting a part. For what will the most violent man do to thee, if thou continuest to be of a kind disposition towards him, and if, as opportunity offers, thou gently admonishest him and calmly correctest his errors at the very time when he is trying to do thee harm, saying, Not so, my child: we are constituted by nature for something else: I shall certainly not be injured, but thou art injuring thyself, my child. And show him with gentle tact and by general principles that this is so, and that even bees do not do as he does, nor any animals which are formed by nature to be gregarious. And thou must do this neither with any double meaning nor in the way of reproach, but TERMaffectionately and without any rancor in thy soul; and not as if thou wert lecturing him, nor yet that any bystander may admire, but either when he is alone, and if others are present . . .¹

Remember these nine rules, EXERCISEas if thou hadst received them as a gift from the Muses², and begin at last to be a man while thou livest. But thou must equally avoid flattering men and being vexed at them, for both are unsocial and lead to harm. And let this truth be present to thee in the excitement of anger, that TERMto be moved by passion is not manly, but that mildness and gentleness, as they are more agreeable to human nature, so also are they more manly; and he who possesses these qualities possesses strength, nerves, and TERMcourage, and not the man who is subject to fits of passion and discontent. For in the same degree in which a man's mind is nearer to TERMfreedom from all passion, in the same degree also is it nearer to strength: and as the sense of TERMpain is a characteristic of weakness, so also is anger. For he who yields to pain and he who yields to anger, both are wounded and both submit.

But if thou wilt, receive also a tenth present from the leader of the Muses², and it is this,—that to expect bad men not to do wrong is madness, for he who expects this desires an impossibility. But to allow men to behave so to others, and to expect them not to do thee any wrong, is irrational and tyrannical.

First: what is my relation to these people — that DOGMAwe came to be for one another; and, on another account, that I came to be set over them, as a ram over a flock or a bull over a herd. But go at it from higher up, from this: DOGMAif not atoms, then a nature that administers the whole; and if so, the lesser exist for the sake of the greater, and these for one another.

Second: what sort of people they are at table, on the couch, and the rest — and above all, under what compulsions of doctrine they lie, and with what conceit they do the very things they do.

Third: that if they do these things rightly, there is no cause for displeasure; and if not rightly, then plainly TERMunwillingly and in ignorance. For every soul is unwillingly deprived of the truth, and just so of the power to treat each man according to his worth. At any rate they resent being called unjust, ungrateful, grasping — in a word, wrongdoers toward their neighbours.

Fourth: that TERMyou too go wrong in many things and are another such man yourself; and if you do abstain from certain faults, you still have the disposition that produces them, even if it is cowardice or a hunger for reputation or some such meanness that keeps you from the like faults.

Fifth: that you have not even ascertained that they are doing wrong; for much is done by way of management, and in general one must first learn a great deal before pronouncing with any certainty on another man's action.

Sixth: that when you are much vexed or even distressed, human life is a mere instant, and in a little while we shall all have been laid out.

Seventh: that it is not their acts that trouble us — those are in their own TERMruling parts — but our own judgements. TERMTake the judgement away, then, be willing to let go the verdict "this is terrible," and the anger is gone. How will you take it away? By reckoning DOGMAthat it is not shameful for you; for if anything but the shameful is an evil, then you too must of necessity go wrong in many ways and become a bandit and anything at all.

Eighth: how much heavier are the burdens brought by our angers and TERMgriefs at such things than the things themselves we are angry and grieved at.

Ninth: that kindness is invincible, if it is genuine and not a smirk and a piece of acting. For what will the most insolent man do to you, if you keep on being kind to him and, as occasion allows, gently admonish him and re-teach him, at leisure, at the very moment when he is attempting to do you harm: «No, child; we came into being for something else. I shall take no harm; it is you who are harming yourself, child.» And show him deftly and in general terms that this is so — that not even bees do it, nor any creature born to live in a herd. And this must be done without irony and without reproach, but TERMwith affection and with no rancour in the soul, and not as if in a lecture-room, nor so that a bystander may admire, but either to him alone, and if others are standing about . . .¹

Remember these nine chapters EXERCISEas gifts received from the Muses², and begin at last, while you live, to be a human being. And you must guard against flattering them just as much as against raging at them: both are unsocial and bring harm. Ready to hand, in fits of anger, let this be — that TERMto rage is not manly; rather, gentleness and mildness, being more human, are also more masculine, and it is this man who has a share of strength, sinew and TERMcourage, not the one who is indignant and discontented. For the nearer a thing is to TERMfreedom from passion, the nearer it is to power. As TERMgrief is a mark of weakness, so is anger: both have been wounded and have given way.

And if you like, take a tenth gift too, from the Leader of the Muses himself²: that to require bad men not to do wrong is madness, for it wants the impossible. But to concede that they may be such toward others, and to require that they not go wrong toward you, is senseless and tyrannical.